i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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