I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
