so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
