omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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