I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
