this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im part way to drunk.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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