As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
