You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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