if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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