He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
