she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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