i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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