I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
