Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
