Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
