...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
