Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
