Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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