I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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