You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she told me i tasted like america
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
