So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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