All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
