Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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