remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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