you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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