i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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