drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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