is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
