Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Randomize
