Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have fence marks all over my body
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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