There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
