How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
