I hope mine doesn't look like that
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
