I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
