I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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