you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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