you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
These tits shall not be calmed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
