So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
