just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
