Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
