if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
