One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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