Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
