I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
