We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
These tits shall not be calmed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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