6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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