haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
