Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she told me i tasted like america
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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