So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
