the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
